Effective Listening-purpose faults results and tips of Effective Listening

 What is effective Listening?

Effective Listening is the active process of receiving and responding to spoken (and sometimes unspoken) messages. It is one of the subjects studied in the field of language arts and in the discipline of conversation analysis. Listening is not just hearing what the other party in the conversation has to say. "Listening means taking a vigorous, human interest in what is being told us," said poet Alice Duer Miller. "You can listen like a blank wall or like a splendid auditorium where every sound comes back fuller and richer."

Elements of Effective Listening

• Attention—the focused perception of both visual and verbal stimuli
• Hearing—the physiological act of 'opening the gates to your ears'
• Understanding—assigning meaning to the messages received
• Remembering—the storing of meaningful information

Effective Listening

An active listener not only pays attention but withholds judgment during the speaker's turn and reflects on what's being said. S.I. Hayakawa notes in "The Use and Misuse of Language" that an active listener is curious about and open to the speaker's views, wants to understand his or her points, and so asks questions to clarify what's being said. An unbiased listener ensures that the questions are neutral, without scepticism or hostility.

Listening does not mean simply maintaining a polite silence while you are rehearsing in your mind the speech you are going to make the next time you can grab a conversational opening. Nor does listening mean waiting alertly for the flaws in the other fellow's argument so that later you can mow him down.

Listening means trying to see the problem the way the speaker sees it, which means not sympathy, which is feeling for him, but empathy, which is experiencing with him. Listening requires entering actively and imaginatively into the other fellow's situation and trying to understand a frame of reference different from your own. This is not always an easy task.

Faults in Effective Listening

That means a considerable size of information is lost in the Effective Listening  process. Why? Some reasons follow;

• Prejudice against the Speaker

At times we have conflict in our mind as to the speaker. Whatever he speaks seems to be coloured and we practically don’t listen to what he says.

• Rehearsing

Your whole attention is on designing and preparing your next comment. You look interested, but your mind is going a mile a minute because you are thinking about what to say next. Some people rehearse whole chains of responses: I’ll say, and then he’ll say, and so on.

• Judging Negatively

Labelling people can be extremely limiting. If you prejudge somebody as incompetent or uninformed, you don’t pay much attention to what that person says. A basic rule of listening is that judgments should only be made after you have heard and evaluated the content of the message.

• Identifying

When using this block, you take everything people tell you and refer it back to your own experience. They want to tell you about a toothache, but that reminds you of your oral surgery for receding gums. You launch into your story before they can finish theirs.

• Advising

You are the great problem solver. You don’t have to hear more than a few sentences before you begin searching for the right advice.

However, while you are coming up with suggestions and convincing someone to just try it; you may miss what is most important.

• Sparring

This block has you arguing and debating with people who never feel heard because you are so quick to disagree. In fact, your main focus is on finding things to disagree with.

• Being Right

Being right means you will go to great lengths (twist the facts, start shouting, make excuses or accusations, call up past sins) to -avoid being wrong.

You can’t listen to criticism, you can’t be corrected, and you can’t take suggestions to change.

• Derailing

This listening block involves suddenly changing the subject. You derail the train of a conversation when you get uncomfortable or bored with a topic. Another way of derailing is by joking.

• Placating

Right. . . Absolutely. . . I know. . . Of course, you are. . .Incredible … Really? You want to be nice, pleasant, and supportive. You want people to like you. So you agree with everything.

• Thinking Speed

Most of us speak between 60 to 180 words per minute, and people have the capacity to think at the rate of 500 to 800 words per Minute. The difference leaves us with a great deal of mental spare time.

While it is possible to use this time to explore the speaker’s ideas, we most often let our mind wander to other matters – from the unfinished business just mentioned to romantic fantasies.

• Premature Evaluation

It often happens that we interrupt the speakers before they complete their thought, or finish their sentence, or state their conclusions.

Directly as a result of our rapid thinking speed, we race ahead of what we feel is the conclusion. We anticipate. We arrive at the concluding thought quickly although often that is quite different from what the speaker intended.

• Semantic Stereotypes

A certain kind of people bothers us, so too do certain words. When these words are repeated time and again, they cause annoyance in the mind and effective listening is impaired.

• Delivery

A monotonous delivery by the speaker can put listeners to sleep or cause them to lose interest.

• External Distractions

The entire physical environment affects listening.

Among the negative factors are noisy fans, poor or glaring lights, distracting background music, overheated or cold rooms, a conversation going on nearby, and so on.

Results of Effective Listening

• Enhance productivity:- People with good listening skills are more productive, make better partners and colleagues, are better problem solvers, and have healthier interpersonal relationships 
• Better-understanding:- Effective listening produces better understanding which eases tension, helps the speaker to relax, and though you might not expect it, helps them think more clearly too! This results in easier collaborations and more fulfilling relationships.
• Improves relationships:- It helps your relationships! Being listened to makes people feel accepted, valued, and understood. It builds the self- confidence of others.
• Greater trust:-Authentic listening builds rapport between people, as it fosters respect and trust between speaker and listener.
• Problem-solving:-Two minds are better than one. Listening effectively fosters collaboration so that solutions to problems can be generated more easily and discussed before being put into action. It helps solve problems at home, at school, and at work. The more you listen, the more people will listen to what you have to say.
• A cooler head:- Listening intently reduces tension and helps both sides to stay cool. This is particularly important when you are discussing a sensitive topic or handling a crisis.
• Boosted confidence:- People who listen well tend to have better self-esteem and self-image because active listening helps to build positive relationships.
• Briefer conversations:-Good listening leads to understanding and accuracy. It reduces misunderstandings and mistakes, and both sides tend to remember conversations better.
• Improves understanding:-  Through listening we can better understand each others opinions 
• Improves negotiation skills:-  Listening improves ones negotiation skills
• Adds to your Image & Personality:-  If we listen someone carefully, we built a personality and image of ourselves in his/her mind
• You will be appreciated:-  People will appreciate us if we listen and gives importance/attention to them.

The Purposes of Effective Listening

There is no doubt that effective listening is an extremely important life skill. Why is listening so important?

Listening serves a number of possible purposes, and the purpose of listening will depend on the situation and the nature of the communication.

• To specifically focus on the messages being communicated, avoiding distractions and preconceptions.
• To gain a full and accurate understanding into the speakers point of view and ideas.
• To critically assess what is being said. (See our page on Critical Thinking for more).
• To observe the non-verbal signals accompanying what is being said to enhance understanding.
• To show interest, concern and concentration.
• To encourage the speaker to communicate fully, openly and honestly.
• To develop a selflessness approach, putting the speaker first.
• To arrive at a shared and agreed understanding and acceptance of both sides views.
• Often our main concern while listening is to formulate ways to respond. This is not a function of listening. We should try to focus fully on what is being said and how it's being said in order to more fully understand the speaker.

Tips for Effective Listening

Here are a dozen tips to being an effective active listener:

•  Maintain eye contact with the speaker if possible.
•  Pay attention and listen for ideas.
•  Find areas of interest.
•  Judge content, not delivery.
•  Don't interrupt, and be patient.
•  Hold back your points or counterpoints.
•  Resist distractions.
•  Pay attention to nonverbal information.
•  Keep your mind open, and be flexible.
•  Ask questions during pauses and give feedback.
•  Listen with empathy to try and see the speaker's viewpoint.
•  Anticipate, summarize, weigh the evidence, and look between the lines.